NFL Power Rankings

I love ranking things so let’s start with the 1^st ever 40 oz. sports NFL Power Rankings. With Week 5 looming, it’s still impossible to figure out some teams, but let’s give it a try…

 

1. COLTS (4-0):  There’s 2 minutes left and you’re down 4. Who do you want engineering the final drive? Yup. Peyton Manning. He’s the MVP of the league right now with Brees lurking behind.

 

2. VIKINGS (4-0): Brett Favre is killin’ it. As long as he doesn’t get hurt this offense is close to unstoppable. Load the box with 9, Favre will kill you. Jump into the nickel and they got this guy named AP. Not to mention Jared Allen eats quarterbacks.

 

3. GIANTS (4-0): Their D recorded 5 sacks last game. Giant fans took a deep breathe when they learned Eli’s injury was only his heel and not his Achilles. Steve Smith has been a treat for fantasy owners and for Eli.

 

4. SAINTS (4-0): Their O is scary good. And their D looked good last game albeit against a rookie quarterback. As long as the Giants take care of Oakland next week; their Week 6 matchup against Big Blue will be the battle of unbeatens.

 

5. PATRIOTS (3-1): Although Tom Brady cried to get a penalty and has rules written for him, the Pats looked strong against the Ravens. Some people, including myself, doubted this team after Week 1. Never count out Belichick.

 

6. BRONCOS (4-0): 4-0? Really? Kyle Orton is their QB and they are 4-0? I know, hard to believe. Denver’s D only gave up 10 points against Dallas last weekend and it seems like Marshall has calmed down.

 

7. RAVENS (3-1): Joe Flacco is much better then I expected. He looked great in the final drive against the Pats and if Clayton doesn’t drop that ball, they may win.

 

8. JETS (3-1): Rex Ryan has his team believing. You’re supposed to talk smack in football and I don’t know why there was such commotion when his players did so before the Pats game. Mark Sanchez looked like a rookie last game, but I expect him to bounce back

 

9. EAGLES (2-1): McNabb will return this week and this past week’s Bye came at the perfect time. The “Sean” duo of LeSean McCoy and DeSean Jackson has played well thus far.

 

10. BENGALS (3-1): They are one Brandon Stokley miracle play away from being undefeated right now. Although they almost took last game off but hung on to beat the lowly Browns.

 

11. 49ERS (3-1): Another team that was one play away from being undefeated. The ageless Brett Favre took care of that. “Wait, we’re good? And I coulda been the #1 guy? I thought this team was supposed to be crappy.”- Michael Crabtree.

 

12. BEARS (3-1): Beat the Steelers, luckily. Cutler has bounced back from his horrific start in Week 1. Fantasy owners are still wondering if Forte will pick it up.

 

13. FALCONS (2-1): They didn’t even show up for that Pats game. Hopefully the week off will enable them to bounce back. I don’t see how anyone can stop this team in the red zone. Gonzo, Turner, White. They have too many weapons.

 

14. STEELERS (2-2): They shouldn’t have lost to the Bengals. They just shouldn’t have. Polamalu may return this weekend. He’s scary good.

 

15. PACKERS (2-2): Seems as if they are still adjusting to the 3-4 look on D. It’s either that or they are still too caught up in burning #4 Packers jerseys. Get over it.

 

16. CHARGERS (2-2): Has LT dropped off the face of the Earth? 7 rushes for 15 yards? Really? Hopefully a week off can fix a few problems. Rivers still throws one of the best deep balls in the game.

 

17. JAGUARS (2-2): I like David Garrard. I just do. Everyone thought Holt would be his go to guy, but apparently this team likes playmakers with hyphenated last names.

 

18. COWBOYS (2-2): If you still think Tony Romo is a top 5 quarterback, please stop. Roy Williams is not a #1 receiver anymore. He just isn’t. The only thing holding this team together is the 3-headed RB monster.

 

19. TEXANS (2-2): I can’t figure these guys out. Are they good? Slaton finally showed he had a heartbeat. Schaub was hurt for that Jets game in Week 1 and maybe that was a bigger issue then we thought?

 

20. CARDINALS (1-2): No way Warner plays all 16 games this year right? He’s old. Still, I could throw deep balls to Fitz and he’d catch ‘em. This team is scary on offense.

 

21. DOLPHINS (1-3): The Chad Henne era has begun! Why not throw Pat White out there for a few plays? Wildcat/Passing option? Just a thought.

 

22. TITANS (0-4): They can’t be this bad, right? Maybe they are worse. How much longer does Collins play? Time to turn to VY? Losing Haynesworth in the off-season may be a bigger deal then we thought.

 

23. REDSKINS (2-2): This team can’t compete in the NFC East. If Santana Moss is your #1 receiver you have problems. They tried to draft better receivers (Thomas, Kelly) and it’s just not working out.

 

24. SEAHAWKS (1-3): They may get Hasselbeck back this week and that could be huge. Still an outside chance this team can rebound and win the NFC West? If I gave you 20-1 odds would you take it?

 

25. PANTHERS (0-3): Jake? Hello, Earth to Jake? The running game has got to take over. Didn’t this team win the NFC South last year? How many more question marks can I fit in here?

 

26. LIONS (1-3): Stafford’s knee injury isn’t severe. Lions fans have already been treated to one win this season. How many more can this team win? Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Kevin Smith. That trio excites me.

 

27. BILLS (1-3): T.O. is going to blow up on Trent Edwards any second now. Get your popcorn ready.

 

28. RAIDERS (1-3): They looked half-way decent against the Chargers in Week 1. Jamarcus Russell loves to show off his arm strength. But that’s his problem. McFadden is out for a few weeks. That sure as heck doesn’t help.

 

29. BUCCANEERS (0-4): I sort of, kind of, maybe like Josh Johnson. He’s better then 45 year old Byron Leftwhich anyway.

 

30. CHIEFS (0-4): Great move firing your offensive coordinator right before the season started. It seems to be paying off.

 

31. BROWNS (0-4): Jets fans really used to call this guy “Mangenius.” Seriously? The rapper Common has even dissed Brady Quinn. Who rules in Cleveland? Braylon was traded after fighting King James’ friend at a night club.

 

32. RAMS (0-4): Ouch.